Jacob Moscovitch (University of Missouri)
To my father
Silver
Domestic Picture Story
Jared Armstrong unfolded a tattered letter from his father as he packed up his childhood bedroom. “To my boys,” he read aloud. These were the last words he wrote to his sons. Jared was nine-years-old when his father lost the battle to alcoholism. “My dad just couldn't overcome the demons that he was dealing with,” he said. Without a father figure, Jared said his journey to manhood has not been easy. After college, Jared has decided to leave his hometown of Malta Bend, Missouri: population 239, and begin his adult life in Kansas City. “I’ve always felt like my dad is with me, steering me,” he said. “I try to be the best man I can be, but would I even make him proud or would he even know who I am?”
Story: To my father
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Jared says he is connected to the land of his hometown Malta Bend, Missouri. As a child, his father would take him and his brothers on adventures. “We had special spots together,” Jared said. Here, he rests in the grass near one of his special spots for a portrait on August 5, 2020.
Story: To my father
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Jared’s father was known for his athletic abilities and outgoing nature with women. Throughout life, Jared has worn his father’s letterman jacket from high school. Here, the jacket hangs in Jared’s childhood bedroom as he gets ready for the day on August 5, 2020.
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“I recall feeling the stubble on his face as a kid,” Jared said. “But my dad wasn’t really allowed to be around.” Here, Jared washes and moisturizes his face before getting ready on August 5, 2020.
Story: To my father
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When Jared was nine-years-old his father died from alcoholism. “My dad loved us more than everything, but there were moments in life that he struggled with,” Jared said. “I wish every single day that he was still around to see what I’ve grown up to be.” Here, Jared holds a photograph of his father for a portrait on August 5, 2020.
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“I feel like I have a duty to make him proud,” Jared said. “There’s these voices in my head that tell me I won’t be good enough, but they also say he’d be proud of me.” Here, Jared works out on August 5, 2020 outside his home in Malta Bend, Missouri.
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Jared is moving to Kansas City with his girlfriend of four years named Caylin. “Where I'm at right in this moment is exactly where I need to be,” he said of the move. Here, Jared and Caylin share a kiss at sunset for a portrait on August 19, 2020.
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“I haven’t read this in years,” Jared said when he found a goodbye letter from his father in a box. “My family doesn't really talk about his death that much, or even talk about his life that much.” Here, Jared displays the note as he reads it aloud on August 5, 2020.
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“My relationship with my dad has grown while he's been absent, but I still have a strong relationship with him,” Jared said. “My father always told me that when he passes, he would be reincarnated as a bird. When I see a bird in the sky, I know he’s with me.” Here, Jared burns worksheets from college in his backyard with a friend on August 6, 2020.