Nanna Navntoft (Danish School of Media and Journalism)
Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Silver
Interpretive Project
Binge eating disorder (BED) is the most widespread eating disorder in Denmark. It is a severe, life-threatening disorder characterized by recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food. Going along is a feeling of loss of control during the binge and experiencing shame, distress or guilt afterwards. Suffering from BED is closely related with bad self- esteem, often a difficult childhood, sometimes abuse and a life centered around weight loss. Few people know about the phenomena, but 40.000-50.000 Danes are suffering from it. Their lives are all about hiding what they consume. They have all tried every possible diet but every time it ends in failure. And for every pound lost there are more pounds gained. Obsessive thoughts about food are constantly there. All though BED is the most widespread eating disorder in Denmark, there are only very few opportunities to receive treatment. Recently WHO has released the new international classification of diseases (ICD 11), and BED is now to be recognised a an eating disorder. It will come into effect on the 1st of January 2022.
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Troels Damsgaard Hansen, 29 years old.
Troels lives temporarily for four months at a folk school, named Ubberup Højskole, that focuses on weight loss and wellbeing. He hopes to lose some weight, but more importantly to find some sort of balance.
“I dream of having a better balance within. And to understand why I do what I do.
When I am in imbalance I am stressed out and in a bad mood. I don’t have any energy. I shut down completely and feel like my life is passing by. I don’t want to use any more of my life feeling like that.”
Troels has always been overweight and has also suffered from depression.
“It was like nothing mattered and I had no energy. At one point I was thinking about suicide. One day I was sitting in the classroom starring at a brick in the wall underneath the blackboard. I sat like that the whole day not noticing at all what anyone was saying. I was just tired, felt like a failure and did not know what to do “.
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Troels Damsgaard Hansen, 29 years old.
“The only thing I can buy in a normal store is shoes.” Troels cares a lot about what he wears. He has always done that. If he isn’t wearing nice clothes, he feels like people are frowning on his size. The nice clothes are a way for him to avoid an uncomfortable situation.
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Michael Larssen, 50 years old.
Having served 10 years in the military and being deployed to war zones five times, Michael developed a severe PTSD and became afraid of shadows. This is when his weight issues begin:
“A lot of people in my situation take solace in alcohol. But I have never liked that, so I would take solace in food. Lots of food and I would eat extremely unhealthily. I would eat up to or sometimes more than 11.000 calories a day. And I gained about 180 kilos in 10 years. The food has given me comfort, peace and some sort of happiness. But I was extremely depressed inside.”
In October 2019 Michael had a gastric bypass surgery, which he hopes will help him eat less.
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Michael Larssen, 50 years old.
“I would call the pizzeria around the corner on Mondays, then on Wednesdays another one, and then on Thursday a third pizzeria. And then when I ordered a pizza, a large coke and fries I would also order a children’s menu. I would always keep the door almost completely closed, so no one could see that it was only me.”
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Nadja Engsig
“When I was 8-12 years old I was sexually abused by a friend of my father’s. In this same period of time my school paid a lot of attention to the fact that I grew a lot. They saw it as me gaining weight. At this point I started thinking to myself that it was easier to be the one who was fat, than the one who was sexually abused. It was just so much easier to relate to.”
Nadja has recently started to receive treatment. On her way home after the session to men walk by her on the sidewalk: “Even if I received 1300 euros I would never fuck that,” one said loudly to the other as they were passing Nadja. Just hours before in treatment Nadja had opened up, and told about the abuse for the first time in her life.
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Sandra Karoline Åvang Klöcker
I clean everything in the kitchen. Everything. No one should be able to see that I have been cooking. And if I eat something that I think others would consider bad food for me, I hide the paper in paper towels and put it in the bottom of the bin. I don’t want anyone to know or think about what I have eaten, and especially not see it.
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Camila Vedsted
“There are times when everything seems so hopeless that I think about suicide. I just want focus on this never-ending problem because I haven’t been able to get any treatment that helps.”
Camilla´s father is sick with terminal cancer and her eating disorder is getting worse and worse. Sometimes she tries to brush her teeth to prevent herself from eating more. But it rarely helps.
“Recently I was in a restaurant. I went there alone and had a big meal and dessert afterwards. Normally I don’t like to go places like that alone but at this time I just didn’t care. I needed it. Everything became foggy in a way. And when I left, I was high and almost drugged. I was completely dulled and able to feel the pain in my stomach in the good way. The way where I don’t have any thoughts left in my mind. Only silence”
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Camila Vedsted
“I need to get rid of the evidence as quick as possible. Then I hide it different places. Sometimes it is inside toilet rolls before throwing it in the bin. But right now I almost don’t care. Everything is a mess anyway.”
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Lars Friberg
Lars sleeps with a mask that creates a vacuum and helps him breathe during his sleep. Without the mask he stops breathing in long periods of time while sleeping. Sleep apnea is a frequent sequela to severe overweight.
“I have been in the health care system for more than 20 years and nothing has helped me. I guess you can say that I have lost my motivation. The fact that I also suffer from depression probably also have a great deal to with how I eat and treat myself. This isn’t solved with a surgery in my stomach. I am certain that I will only become even more sick.”
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Dina Somme Møller, 34 years old.
“You can eat a lot without binging. And you can a little bit and then it is binging. It is about the feeling you have, when you are eating. It doesn’t matter whether it is Ben & Jerry´s or rhye bread. It´s the feeling you have when you just need your body to relax. It is about trying to fill up the empty space inside, until you can´t feel yourself anymore.
It brings my mind and body at rest. It feels like a big hug. And then I am able to feel my body.
When I feel really bad, I eat until my stomach aches, and I need to lie down. It is the best feeling. I become all warm inside just thinking of it. I imagine that it is like morphine and you have to say stop, but you just keep on saying; “just a little bit more,” because the sensation is so good.”
The second-best feeling is to sleep, because you can also use that as an escape from reality. So to eat until my stomach hurts a lot and I am almost numbed, and then to fall asleep, that is what the eating disorder does for me.
Story: Day 1 - Binge eating disorder
Jan Sørensen, 60 years old
Jan has always been overweight. “I have always been the short big one. As a child I was nicknamed; Shorty, Bear, Beef and Fat Idiot. Jan was already hospitalised at the age of six because of his weight. Shortly after he was hospitalised at a psychiatric ward for children. And when he was twelve years old, he was sent to a home for overweight children. All of it because of his weight.
“I consider myself as a severely obese person. Whether it is because the health care system sees me like that, or not, I don’t know. But I guess that is what I am?”